Yes, this is my coping mechanism for dealing with the gut wrenching, unlimitedly tragic feelings that follow the loss of someone very important in my life.
For some strange reason, they aren't dead for me, rather they have gone on a long train journey and I am seeing them off at the railway station after driving them there and loading their bags.
They are waving to me as the train rolls out of the station, and I walk beside the train for as long as I can waving back and reminding them to call when they reach.
As the train finally becomes just a speck in the horizon, I turn back to my car, get in, a little sadder and a lot lonelier than a few minutes ago. Driving back home alone is very brutal, as I keep running through memories of happier times with them in the past.
I think this probably implies I am living in denial and not confronting my loss. But screw it, I am able to keep going and that's all that matters.
Another thing that matters is, I hope when it comes time for me to take that final one-way train journey into the twilight, there is someone who cares enough to come drop me to the station and wave goodbye one last time.
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