9 things revealed

 Sharing 9 things about myself:

1. I like black coffee. No adulteration. Copious quantities of it.

2. I am bad at cooking, but great at being a food critic.

3. I wake up before 6 am every morning. Not voluntarily, blame the sleep cycle.

4. I dislike speaking with people, unless I really really like them.

5. I love driving/riding my car/bikes.

6. I hate socks

7. I dont have any photographs of the most memorable moments of my life.

8. I remember other peoples birthdays (with an assist from Google Calendar)

9. I used to whistle well, dont anymore.

Hair in the ear ( auricular hypertrichosis )

 Yes, I suffer from this absolutely normal physiological condition where one or several hairs sprout from ones ears. In my specific case, there is exactly one hair which sprouts from the top of my right ear lobe and stand out like the proverbial overachieving student in class found perennially with a raised hand and fore finger even before the teacher completes her question.

I do not really care about this from any aesthetic point of view. But it irks me at times, and I just yank it out whenever I remember to, about once every two months. I have no other hair from my ears, but as COVID has caused all of us to be very touchy feely with our ears what with having to repeatedly assault them with earphones for all those work Teams/slack/meet calls, the hair no longer goes under the radar and is evicted with extreme prejudice regularly.

How I like my eggs

 Yeah, start with taking the non-stick pan from the cabinet.

Put it on the stove, then spend 2 minutes lighting, then relighting the stove (its an old one and has its own startup routine)

Bring those 4 eggs from the refridgerator door. Crack them into a ceramic bowl and grab that fork to whisk them into submission. Then curse silently at yourself to go grab two slices of cheese from the fridge, trudging there and back mournfully, lamenting the lack of process optimization you have just practised.

Grab the olive oil and butter and put a bit of each into the pan. Let it warm up, the oil becomes more viscous and you give the pan a whirl to coat every millimetre of it so the eggs dont stick.

You then get into the endless debate with yourself, should I add the salt and pepper to the eggs in the bowl before whisking? or should I dump them into the pan then sprinkle them on top. You spend 10 seconds debating then your hunger makes the decision for you and you dump the eggs into the pan and sprinkly salt and pepper on top when you see a little white(they are cooking).

Now you do what every street eggs vendor in Bombay does and take 4 slices of bread from the packet, dunk each on either side in the still runny eggs and place them on top of the eggs. Then you take the cheese out of the packets and keep them ready. Soon as you dont see any more runny yellow bits, you take the big wooden ladle and flip the eggs to now be bread side down on the pan. Letting the bread slices go golden brown while you place the two slices of cheese on each bread slice, you grab the tomato ketchup and splotch a dollop on each slice. Now proceeding to folding the bread slices one over the other you come away with the Bombay egg sandwich which now you slide onto a big plate, grab a knife to separate first the full bread slices, then halve them as well. Splotch a few more blobs of ketchup on the plate and get ready to carry this heavenly breakfast to your table in front of the Television. 

How I deal with losing important people

 Yes, this is my coping mechanism for dealing with the gut wrenching, unlimitedly tragic feelings that follow the loss of someone very important in my life.

For some strange reason, they aren't dead for me, rather they have gone on a long train journey and I am seeing them off at the railway station after driving them there and loading their bags.

They are waving to me as the train rolls out of the station, and I walk beside the train for as long as I can waving back and reminding them to call when they reach.

As the train finally becomes just a speck in the horizon, I turn back to my car, get in, a little sadder and a lot lonelier than a few minutes ago. Driving back home alone is very brutal, as I keep running through memories of happier times with them in the past.

I think this probably implies I am living in denial and not confronting my loss. But screw it, I am able to keep going and that's all that matters. 

Another thing that matters is, I hope when it comes time for me to take that final one-way train journey into the twilight, there is someone who cares enough to come drop me to the station and wave goodbye one last time.

Facts- whether you like them or not

The morning shower tires you out more than it refreshes you

Putting on good work clothes isnt as much fun as it used to be

You have enough watches, but never enough time

When you sneeze, theres rarely anyone about to whisper a 'Bless you'

Men used to sweat and swear, they barely whimper anymore

The traffic is as bad as it used to be, only now you realise you are the traffic too

The mornings still start early, but the nights never used to end this soon  

The drive to work is long, but sometimes not long enough to be fun

The work is endless, hectic and tough, but not as much fun as you want it to be

The coffee is warm enough, but never strong enough

The dinner is fulfilling enough for the body, but rarely enough to satiate the soul

The memories of your friend are incredibly detailed, but still not as good as the real thing.

Song lyrics are still remembered, but rarely sung aloud anymore

The future is as bright as it used to be, but you need to wear sunglasses now.

Dukes Hotel, Chapel road, Bandra, behind MET building

 So Chapel road via Veronica road connects the Gen Arunkumar Vaidya road (Lilavati hospital) to Hill road in Bandra. This happens to also contain several worthy establishments like J.Bob tailors (Waroda road), a cold cuts place, a place where you can get your car done up for weddings and receptions, and last but most importantly the legendary malbari restaurant which called itself Dukes.
Dukes had 9 tables each could seat 4 people in a tight fit, 2 people comfortably, and was run by malbaris, malyali muslims who served malbari parottas with all kinds of beef fry, chicken fry, mix veg gravy with half rice plates. This esteemed establishment is where Oscar and I would go for lunch every afternoon, often ending our meal with a one by two masala thums up to aid the digestion.

The strange and esoteric ecosystem that exists in the inner lanes and streets of Bandra are charming, bustling and great fun. The characters you will meet there even more. on the way back from dukes towards Mt Carmel church, there was an old bihari gentleman who would have a matka on the doorstep of a house with a danda which he manipulated with two ropes to mix the sweet lassi he would sell you for 5 bucks. A dessert worth the meal consumed at Dukes for sure! 

The owner at Dukes was a mustachioed mallu gent who had nothing but smiles for his regulars and nothing but rebukes and curses for his two waiters with the sounds of a "kapda maar chaar number pe" and a "paani de teen number ko" and usually a "half rice de rassa maarke lambu saab ko" making their way towards all his patrons. At the end the waiter would bring a scribbled piece of paper with your itemized bill and a very modest sum at the bottom which would invariably leave a few coins for his tip so the customers never needed to bother to make change for that purpose. 

Dukes had a freezer with ice creams and larger cold drink bottles, but it was seldom put into service by the wait staff as the working men who frequented this decidedly working mans establishment for lunch or chai never indulged themselves, being frugal to a fault.

I miss Dukes since moving away from Bandra more than a decade ago. I miss not just the parottas and half rice plates, but also the conversation with the guys there, their smiles and optimism, the walk to and from chapel road with the sights of expensive vehicles getting adorned with flowers and ribbons for the wedding, or crosses and wreaths for the funeral service. The old lassi wallah churning away with the everpresent beedi on his lips, the vegetable vendor on his haath gaadi serenading the residents with promises of fresh aloo, tamatar, bhindi, kobi. 

The world has moved onto swiggy instamart home deliveries of groceries and essentials with food delivered in 20 minutes from the nearest joint, but the joy of going in person to a Dukes and picking up some kelas from the street vendor on your return remain simple pleasures that are priceless! 

Mental acuity over physicality and the endless pursuit of convenience

During the course of a drive into work, the human mind often drifts and ponders many areas of tangential interest, either triggered by a chance encounter with that topic at some time in the recent past, or simply the seemingly random confluence of neural pathways uncovering said topic, akin to driftwood, or more specifically tumbleweed rolling between the feet of two Wild West gunslingers looking to terminate each other with unnecessary aplomb.

The reaction of the brain to this unwarranted trigger is very similar to that of a toddler who sees a big red button, while the said infant begins depressing this button repeatedly with increased gusto, the brain follows suit and dives headfirst into the topic so randomly chosen for your next mental mastication session.

One such topic I have been masticating upon has been how fortunate most of us are to have our daily job involve significantly greater participation from our mental faculties while the bare minimum is expected from our physical prowess or lack thereof. It does not strike me as coincidental, and I rather conclude that for generations our ancestors have guided us to achieve excellence in education and thereby develop our brains because at some point some of them must have deduced that humanity is inherently extremely lazy. And a consequence of this laziness will result in humans physically evolving from the tall, broad-shouldered Homo sapiens who explored the length and breadth of this globe, combatting the elements, predators, and everything else to become the planet's foremost species into a veritable blob of flesh deposited on a comfortable couch with the TV remote in one hand, a smartphone in another and with some sugary snacks or drinks in close proximity. The present company is guilty of being a representation of the above, excluding any fondness for sugary snacks or beverages.

It has dawned upon me, that were I, or many of us, required to have greater physical abilities for even our simple survival, that would be something we have neither been trained for nor have the slightest predisposition towards. Think about it, we as a race have been in an endless quest for convenience, innovating absolutely brilliant contraptions starting from the TV remote control to the automatic transmission motor vehicle and every thingummy in between. I mean, just the concept of an audiobook transcends the already supremely luxurious action of lounging in a comfortable chair reading a book, to consuming it via our auditory pathways instead.

If this trend is to continue, and I have nothing to deny it will, then my mind cannot yet comprehend the extent of this affinity to convenience. Where will it take us? Will we have electric toothbrushes which fly into our mouths? Will we have shoes with wheels like a Roomba which slip themselves onto our feet? Will we have emails that auto-respond using Chat GPT for context? Will we have innovated enough algo automations to replace our daily interactions with family, friends, and even pets? I do not know, but I am sure my brain will continue to masticate on these and other outcomes over the next several drives to and from the office!