Wednesday, March 14, 2007

No. I am sure...No goddamit NO!!

Lets get this over with. I do not want a home-loan, no I don't even want it on zero percent interest, you see, I have zero interest in being in debt..! I don't want direct-cash, or any other crazy scheme you are pushing on me. You know who you are, you banks, insurance companies, dimwits! You think just by getting a girl to push buttons on a phone, stealing my number from some list you bought off a consultant, you can persuade me to be in your debt. Ha! there's no chance of that happening.

I remember the days when members of my family had to almost grovel at the feet of some bank manager to wheedle a loan of such minuscule proportions, at interest rates that would ensure that none of us got that new piece of jewelry or that vacation to the hill station. Now you blatantly pimp your services off the phone, and expect me to dive into debt. No. Yeah, you heard me...No. Stop calling me. I will abuse your employees, then I will demand to speak with their supervisor, so that I may abuse him, then I will send you a very vulgar email detailing every abuse, in some cases even translating them for your complete understanding. If that does not suffice, I will proceed to then pose as an employee of your own company, and when that oh so irritating call happens, I will wheedle out details from that girl. Details like-her phone number, where she got my number from, who gave her that big list, why doesn't the bank contact me directly, who does she report to in the bank, what is his phone number, email address even. And then I will reverse cold call you. You will be amazed at my lack of ethics, and in awe of my command over abuses in multiple languages. You see, I have been abused in many languages myself...but that is another story, for another time.

And another thing. This one is crucial. When I do want to talk to somebody from the bank, why do I have to sit patiently listening to MIDI music, purportedly Beethoven playing. I'm not asking you to respond quickly or any such sacrilegious thing! I merely request that you play me proper audio, preferably 128 bit encoded mp3, and not Beethoven, gimme Mozart.


PS: to all my friends working in outbound call centers and in those lousy banks...screw you too.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hear you! damn them all!

shreya said...

hey, so true! sushma sent me this one. anyway, there is a way out! will read you henceforth!

http://thebluemeow.blogspot.com/2007/03/green-eggs-and-spam.html